Hey again. How are you hanging in there? It seems like all this of Covid stuff is just never ending... A lot of places have gone back into restrictive lock downs and a lot of people are getting really sick, so I just wanted to say hang in there, keep praying, keep loving, and I'm sending you all my love and virtual hugs.

​

Okay, so where do we begin? I guess as a kid I never felt like I fit in anywhere, and the feeling actually got much worse as I got older until quite recently. I had for the most part always presented as girly, but I was shy, awkward, and a bit of a goof ball. I am also black, and in those times, it seemed ultra-femininity was reserved for the white girls with blonde hair and loads of money, yet another thing I didn't really have. I was into computers, music, video games, writing and anime, but those groups who were into those things didn't take me seriously either because of my excessive love of pink or for being a girl in general. I loved the things that were popular, but if I dared speak about the more out-of-the-loop stuff, I got a lot of judgmental looks and whispers. The same would happen with my friends interested in the out-of-the-loop things if I mentioned anything mainstream. Thank God times have changed for the most part.

​

This lack of having one lane to fit into really affected me socially. As a result, I wound up finding most comfort when I was alone. This sounds kind of sad, but if you found yourself to be an introvert growing up as well, It's really not all that bad. Introverts find a lot of energy in time spent alone. We get a bad rep for being anti-social, or unskilled but it couldn't be any further from the truth.

​

Introverts are not all anti-social, but rather, selectively social, surrounding ourselves with those whom we have determined to be worthy companions, those whom we don't feel a lack of energy with , but instead, people who make us feel satisfied, comfortable, and almost most importantly, understood. We are also a group of people who have developed quite a few skills over time, as a result of spending a lot of time alone.

​

I know for myself personally, my love for anime gave me a foundation for drawing, my love for fashion and aesthetics gave me a trained eye for clothing and design, my love for music allows me to joyfully sing in tune, even edit music or make my own songs at times, my love for computers made me a skilled researcher (for the things I like lol) a gamer, a game creator and a collector. Being observant of those who I choose to spend my time with has made a good listener and developed my intuition. Being alone gave me time to further develop these skills for interpersonal and external benefit.

​

Even if you aren't an introvert, It can be really hard to find confidence in yourself when you present differently than others. The number one thing anyone gets bullied for while growing up is being different. Humans naturally want a place to fit in, so being different scares us. But just think about everyone who ever went on to do anything fantastical. What did they all have in common? They stood out or created something that stood out. Adolescence doesn't last forever, again thank God. And when it's over, your differences will probably be the coolest thing about you.

​

So now as an adult, I ask myself why I was ever ashamed to be different. It's those with different ideas who challenge the norm and create change. People who are different create music, art, clothing, video games, books, new inventions that change the world... We simply wouldn't be interested if it were the same thing over and over. If you're different now, you're already steps ahead. Embrace your quirks. Love what makes you different. You'll go on to do great things.

​

Ps. Just in case you didn't know, you are smart, you are funny, you are cool, you are lovable, you are beautiful, you are creative, you are wonderful, even if someone has told you you're not.

​

 

♡ Sugar Milk