Growing up in the very late 90's and early 2000's, almost every piece of media I consumed directed at my demographic taught me to value female friendships. Sailor Moon and her friends/the sailor scouts, the Winx Club, Card Captor Sakura with Sakura and Tomoyo, The Bratz and similar shows all demonstrated (sometimes in a literal sense) the power that can arise when girls put aside their differences, come together, and are unapologetically themselves. Whether its smart, ditsy, relationship obsessed, a foodie, etc, we could find value in the things that made the girl herself. They highlighted celebrating each others success rather than making it something to be jealous of or compete against. They had their faults and disagreements but in the end they would come together again, recognizing the value of what they had together rather than simply apart. Of course, the media is incredibly misogynistic and these mentalities I had didn't last much later than 2007 when it became a regular thing to demonize girls for having demographics meant to appeal to them. Girly girls were all bullies, twilight was teen trash and the colour pink was seen as repressive because "girls aren't actually like that." It was seen as a compliment to be "not like other girls" and the media and other forms of language began to send an underlying message that female friendships mostly ended in drama, jealousy over boys and things otherwise worthless to fight over. Boys taught me that I should be ashamed of  being a girl, to hate spending time with girls and to view female friendships as being over dramatic and focused on frivolous things. the only meaningful interactions could be held in circles boys found to be directed at their interests. Basically, we were taught to have internalized misogyny, and this in turn made us less inclined or for some, completely opposed to joining in on female friendships. Some girls instead would form friendships with girls they deemed "worthy" and would collectively speak negative opinions on those outside of their respective groups, either shaming them for being too feminine presenting or shaming them for not being quite as feminine. You really couldn't win.

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Girls are taking back the narrative now and I love that for us. It's no longer "cool" to put down each other over various forms of expression. We are creating a path way where girls are no longer made to feel as less for being emotional or where we feel the need to compete over a boy. We are worth so much more. There is so much beauty in feeling happiness for other women. Our makeup and clothing isn't for the male gaze but for our self expression. We are not meant to compete but rather uplift each other in a way a lot of men find unrelatable. Its amazing and again, powerful when you find girls with the same mindset. No longer is everything you do for someone else, but for yourself. (as somehow some men find it impossible to believe that a woman could do anything purely for herself) And girls get that!

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I guess I could say this entry is inspired by an recent event in my life. I had been excited to find a new female friend who had similar interests to me. The friendship sadly became clouded with jealousy and ultimately things ended without any form of closure. Hindsight is 20-20. While I'm sad about this experience there is a much bigger picture here that I felt needed to be focused on. We find more success and satisfaction when we aren't competing but rather doing what we enjoy with love and support. We find more happiness when we focus our lives on positivity and where we can go rather than where someone else has gone. Even though we move forward on our own, it's so great to have friends cheering us on from the side and to be there doing the same for them, watching them grow and prosper. Female friendships are often ended for the silliest of reasons because we've been taught females can't be reasonable. Instead we can have an incredibly emotional, fulfilling and powerful bond. I hope that the person I knew finds her way and a beautiful female friendship someday. I think it would just be lovely if more girls would allow themselves to have that experience and give girls a chance.

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♡ Sugar